Managing Change

Many people face change with suspicion or outright fear. The truth, however, is this: The only thing constant in life, is change. Whether unintentional and unavoidable or something you seek and choose, managing change starts at your hands.

Let’s start with the consensus that you are expected to operate in an environment, where changes are increasingly often and radical – and often difficult to understand. At the same time, you are surrounded by heteronomous, often conflicting, requirements: do more with as few means as possible, acquire digital skills to survive professionally, but don’t waste time in front of a screen, work more to make money, but don’t neglect your personal life, etc. Being able to adapt in the face of instability and change, is imperative, to say the least. Only by becoming true masters of themselves, can people succeed in handling multidimensional change, and face their professional and personal lives often conflicting priorities with determination. I believe that the main characteristic of self-leadership – the ability to make your own decisions about your life, and not be led by situations or other people’s opinions – is flexibility: the ability to understand change and choose to handle it, using a wide variety of skills and behaviors that pertain to each case. So, where do you start? First of all, by making the distinction between sudden – perhaps unwanted – change, and conscious change. Each type of change is handled differently. Let’s specifically look at how you can handle change that comes about suddenly, thwarting any plans you may have, such as a health crisis, the loss of a beloved person, or professional failure.

Step 1: Acceptance

Before trying to take any kind of action, you should accept the new state of affairs. It is important to accept reality once the initial stages of panic (“What am I to do now that my everyday life has been turned around?”), anger (“I do not deserve what is happening to me!”), or denial (“There must be some mistake”), which are usually accompanied by intense stress, are over. That doesn’t mean giving up and letting yourself be carried away by the current of events. On the contrary, it means choosing to realistically deal with the situation and trying to decode it.

Step 2: View from above

When confronted with change, people tend to focus only on emerging problems or difficulties, trapping themselves in a vicious cycle. It’s like being on a town square, surrounded by thousands of people, and yet only being aware of the people in your immediate vicinity. If, however, you choose to go up to the balcony and enjoy the view from above, then you may become aware that the square is full of people, trees, buildings, etc. In other words, it is rife with possibilities. Using the “balcony view” to look at change, makes it easier for people to perceive new available options, such as opportunities to create something new.

Step 3

Write down your options. This will help you realize something extremely fundamental: it will help you determine what is within your ability to control, and what isn’t. What is within your sphere of influence, and what isn’t. At the same time, you will realize that it is futile to spend your energy and ruminate about things and situations you cannot control. On the contrary, it is useful to focus on things that really are in your power to affect.

Step 4

You cannot handle change without taking action. And not just any kind of action either. You must plan your actions with deliberation, and you can only do that if you have followed the previous steps. Once you’ve determined what you can control, then you can focus on a single thing on your list, and ask yourself: what particular action can I take?

The second category includes all the changes you want to make. With these changes, you can act proactively, as they are within the sphere of your control. As much, however, as you would like to see your life changed, you may often fail to achieve your goals. Change is not something that can always be accomplished. But what is it that prevents people from accomplishing and sustaining change?

Three things usually keep people back: (a) fear of failure, (b) acting to meet other people’s expectations and not their own, and (c) caring about other peoples’ opinions, more than they care about their own.

These three obstacles – that give birth to others, such as procrastination, bad planning, laziness, etc. – stem from deeply rooted convictions that people have about themselves, which keep them back from reaching their potential and making positive change. Most people do not take the time to thoroughly examine them. If you do wish to change your non-functional behaviors, you have to thoroughly question the belief system you are living by, and adopt one that is more informed and effective for you.