New Age Flirting- “Honesty Bombing”
By Marianna Mitta , Phsychologist – Systemic Family Phychiatrist, official EFTA (European Family Therapy Association) member
Nowadays, free people who date, tend to lay the foundations for the future of their relationships. People who are not looking for long-lasting relationships are open about it, to make sure they are not taking up other people’s time.
A big scale research that took place in April 2021, funded by a popular international dating website, shows significant qualitative alterations in human interaction after the last quarantine. More than 1000 people, aged 18-45, took part in the research, their main goal being finding a partner. The key to change was linked to new, clear, positive goals set by the people themselves, about companionship quality. Specifically, 72% reported being more honest in what they seek in a relationship, while 69% does not want to play games or engage in manipulation. Finally, 82% are ready to speak openly and clearly about everything, including their opinion about marriage, family, health issues and their expectations regarding their partners. This practice gave birth to the new term “Honesty Bombing”.
People don’t want to spend their valuable time on this earth needlessly playing games. According to the same research, in the post-quarantine era, the relationship horizon is clearer and more clearly defined than the pre-coronavirus era.
To comprehend the importance of safety in human survival and evolution into intelligent, spiritual beings, we need to take a look at our roots. As humans, we simply need a safe space in which to thrive.
Nowadays, safety is crucial to our physical and psychological health. We interact with like-minded people, with whom we hold common convictions and values, sharing benefits, space and time, without exception. Feeling “different” is a challenge, as we need to learn to interact with new or foreign things, while we seek to grow, to evolve, to know ourselves and not lose them on the way.
As the clock is ticking, unattached relationship seekers use honesty bombing while surfing the internet, or in real life, to get honest answers.
Their goal is still the creation of fruitful relationships, made up of honesty, authenticity, and empathy, which can eventually lead to love. Since the foundations and the roots are there to help us accomplish our original goal, which is to unite existence with the meaning of life, the way is paved for two personalities to come together.
Honesty is a new challenge that does, however, offer the potential for meaningful, honest relationships.
In 1985, psychologist Robert Sternberg used three principles to analyze love. The first principle is about closeness, and it includes familiarity, togetherness, bonding and meaningful contact. The second principle is about sexual desire and it includes phantasies regarding the partner, thoughts of romance and sexual consummation. The last principle is about acceptance, or the decision to create a relationship and this is where the sense of being in love comes in, where the person pledges to themselves and to their partner to preserve this love. Complete honesty, perhaps even strictness in our communication with our partners, may have negative consequences. Honesty bombing may render someone unpleasant, as it does not leave space for romanticism.
“Honesty Bombing” is the new trend based on not sugarcoating your personality, therefore preventing disenchantment, as what you see is what you get. This is the grandeur of this new era. Absolute honesty and authenticity in communication may seem daunting, but it protects you from tearful disillusionment. It helps you leave behind circumstantial relationships or negative experiences, which may be extremely taxing to your mental health. It helps you save time, ultimately allowing for honest relationships and a partner that you desire, and who desires you for who you are.
